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> MASTER MANAGEMENT CLASS
>
> Lesson No.1
>
> A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit
> saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all
> day long?" The crow answered: " Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the
> ground below the crow, and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared,
> jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
>
> Management Lesson:
>
> To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high
> up.
>
>
> Lesson No.2
>
> A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to
> get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the
> energy." "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied
> the
> bull. "They're packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of
> dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the
> first branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he
> reached the second branch.
> Finally after a fortnight, there he was proudly perched at the top of the
> tree. Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of
> the tree.
>
> Management Lesson:
>
> Bullsh** might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.
>
>
>
> Lesson No.3
>
> When the body was first made, all the parts wanted to be Boss.
> The brain said, "I should be Boss because I control the whole body's
> responses and functions." The feet said, " We should be Boss as we carry
> the
> brain about and get him to where he wants to go." The hands said,"We
> should be the Boss because we do all
> the work and earn all the money."
> And so it went on and on with the heart, the lungs and the eyes
> until finally the asshole spoke up. All the parts laughed at the idea of
> the
> asshole being the Boss. So the asshole went on strike, blocked itself
> up and refused to
> work. Within a short time the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched,
> the feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic and the brain
> fevered. Eventually they all decided that the asshole should be the Boss,
> so the motion was passed. All the other parts did all the work while the
> Boss just sat and passed out the sh**!
>
> Management Lesson:
>
> You don't need to be a brain to be the Boss - just an asshole.
>
>
> Lesson No.4
>
> A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold, the
> bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field. While it was
> lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it. As the frozen bird
> lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was.
> The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy,
> and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird
> singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered
> the bird under the pile
> of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him!
>
> Management Lesson:
>
> 1) Not everyone who drops sh** on you is your enemy.
> 2) Not everyone who gets you out of sh** is your friend.
> 3) And when you're in deep sh**, keep your mouth shut!
>
>
