Lesson No.1
A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit
saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all
day long?" The crow answered: " Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the
ground below the crow, and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared,
jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Management Lesson:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high
up.
Lesson No.2
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to
get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the
energy." "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied
the
bull. "They're packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of
dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the
first branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he
reached the second branch.
Finally after a fortnight, there he was proudly perched at the top of the
tree. Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of
the tree.
Management Lesson:
Bullsh** might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.
Lesson No.3
When the body was first made, all the parts wanted to be Boss.
The brain said, "I should be Boss because I control the whole body's
responses and functions." The feet said, " We should be Boss as we carry
the
brain about and get him to where he wants to go." The hands said,"We
should be the Boss because we do all
the work and earn all the money."
And so it went on and on with the heart, the lungs and the eyes
until finally the asshole spoke up. All the parts laughed at the idea of
the
asshole being the Boss. So the asshole went on strike, blocked itself
up and refused to
work. Within a short time the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched,
the feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic and the brain
fevered. Eventually they all decided that the asshole should be the Boss,
so the motion was passed. All the other parts did all the work while the
Boss just sat and passed out the sh**!
Management Lesson:
You don't need to be a brain to be the Boss - just an asshole.
Lesson No.4
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold, the
bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field. While it was
lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it. As the frozen bird
lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was.
The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy,
and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird
singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered
the bird under the pile
of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him!
Management Lesson:
1) Not everyone who drops sh** on you is your enemy.
2) Not everyone who gets you out of sh** is your friend.
3) And when you're in deep sh**, keep your mouth shut!
