> Today we mourn the passing of an old friend, by the
> name of Common Sense. Common Sense lived a long life
> but died in the United States from heart failure on
> the brink of the new millennium.
>
> No one really knows how old he was, since his birth
> records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape
> He selflessly devoted his life to service in
> schools, hospitals, homes, factories helping folks get
> jobs done without fanfare and foolishness. For
> decades, petty rules, silly laws, and frivolous
> lawsuits held no power over Common Sense. He was
> credited with cultivating such valued lessons as to
> know when to come in out of the rain, why the early
> bird gets the worm, and that life isn't always fair.
>
> Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies
> (don't spend more than you earn), reliable parenting
> strategies (the adults are in charge, not the
> kids), and it's okay to come in second.
>
> A veteran of the Industrial Revolution, the Great
> Depression, and the
> Technological Revolution, Common Sense survived
> cultural and educational trends including body
> piercing, whole language, and "new math." But his
> health declined when he became infected with the
> "If-it-only-helps-one-person-it's-worth-it" virus.
>
> In recent decades his waning strength proved no match
> for the ravages of well intentioned but overbearing
> regulations.
>
> He watched in pain as good people became ruled by
> self-seeking lawyers. His health rapidly deteriorated
> when schools endlessly implemented zero-tolerance
> policies. Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with
> sexual harassment for kissing a classmate, a teen
> suspended for taking a swig of mouthwash after lunch,
> and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student
> only worsened his condition. It declined even further
> when schools had to get parental consent to administer
> aspirin to a student but could not inform the parent
> when a female student was pregnant or wanted an
> abortion.
>
> Finally, Common Sense lost his will to live as the Ten
> Commandments became contraband, churches became
> businesses, criminals received better treatment than
> victims, and federal judges stuck their noses in
> everything from the Boy Scouts to professional sports.
> Finally, when a woman, failed to realize that a
> steaming cup of coffee was hot, was awarded a huge
> settlement, Common Sense threw in the towel.
>
> As the end neared, Common Sense drifted in and out of
> logic but was kept informed of developments regarding
> questionable regulations such as those for low flow toilets,
> rocking chairs, and stepladders.
>
> Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents,
> Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter,
> Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by
> two stepbrothers: My Rights, and Ima Whiner. Not many
> attended his funeral because so few realized he was
> gone.
>
> -Author Unknown
