name of Common Sense. Common Sense lived a long life
but died in the United States from heart failure on
the brink of the new millennium.
No one really knows how old he was, since his birth
records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape
He selflessly devoted his life to service in
schools, hospitals, homes, factories helping folks get
jobs done without fanfare and foolishness. For
decades, petty rules, silly laws, and frivolous
lawsuits held no power over Common Sense. He was
credited with cultivating such valued lessons as to
know when to come in out of the rain, why the early
bird gets the worm, and that life isn't always fair.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies
(don't spend more than you earn), reliable parenting
strategies (the adults are in charge, not the
kids), and it's okay to come in second.
A veteran of the Industrial Revolution, the Great
Depression, and the
Technological Revolution, Common Sense survived
cultural and educational trends including body
piercing, whole language, and "new math." But his
health declined when he became infected with the
"If-it-only-helps-one-person-it's-worth-it" virus.
In recent decades his waning strength proved no match
for the ravages of well intentioned but overbearing
regulations.
He watched in pain as good people became ruled by
self-seeking lawyers. His health rapidly deteriorated
when schools endlessly implemented zero-tolerance
policies. Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with
sexual harassment for kissing a classmate, a teen
suspended for taking a swig of mouthwash after lunch,
and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student
only worsened his condition. It declined even further
when schools had to get parental consent to administer
aspirin to a student but could not inform the parent
when a female student was pregnant or wanted an
abortion.
Finally, Common Sense lost his will to live as the Ten
Commandments became contraband, churches became
businesses, criminals received better treatment than
victims, and federal judges stuck their noses in
everything from the Boy Scouts to professional sports.
Finally, when a woman, failed to realize that a
steaming cup of coffee was hot, was awarded a huge
settlement, Common Sense threw in the towel.
As the end neared, Common Sense drifted in and out of
logic but was kept informed of developments regarding
questionable regulations such as those for low flow toilets,
rocking chairs, and stepladders.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents,
Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter,
Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by
two stepbrothers: My Rights, and Ima Whiner. Not many
attended his funeral because so few realized he was
gone.
-Author Unknown
