This is the joke... Deep thought
If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?
Just think how much deeper the ocean would be if sponges didn't live there.
I went for a walk last night and my kids asked me how long I'd be gone. I said, 'The
whole time.'
So what's the speed of dark?
Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food?
If you're sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?
I just got skylights put in my place. The people who live above me are furious.
Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?
Isn't Disney World a people-trap operated by a mouse?
Whose cruel idea was it for the word `lisp' to have an 's' in it?
How come 'abbreviated' is such a long word?
If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
Why do you press harder on a remote control when you know the battery is dead?
Why are they called buildings when they're already finished? Shouldn't they be called builts?
Why are they called apartments when they're all stuck together?
Why do banks charge you a 'non-sufficient funds' fee on money they already know that you don't have?
Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?
Do fish get cramps after eating?
Why are there five syllables in the word 'monosyllabic'?
Why do scientists call it 'research' when they are looking for something new?
If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
When I erase a word with a pencil, where does it go?
Why is it that when a door is open, it's ajar, but when a jar is open, it's not a door?
Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he'll believe you.
Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.
How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?
Why is it fake lemon juice contains mostly artificial ingredients, but dishwashing liquid contains real lemons?
Why do we wait until a pig is dead to 'cure' it?
Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
Why do we put suits in a garment bag and put garments in a suitcase?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Do Roman paramedics refer to IVs as '4s'?
What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
Is boneless chicken considered to be an invertebrate?
Do married people live longer than single people do, or does it just SEEM longer?
I went to a book store and asked the saleswoman, 'Where's the self-help section?' She said if she told me it would defeat the purpose.
And finally.....
If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they all still working?
Deep Thought
Member #: 13950
Registered: 1996-2001
Posted:
81
Name:
Eric Tighe
Name:
Eric Tighe
Company:
All - Phase Communications
Occupation:
Owner - Cable/Satellite
Location:
South Jersey
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