A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot
sitting on a little perch. It doesn't have any feet or
legs. The guy says aloud, "Jeesh, I wonder what
happened to this parrot?"
The parrot says, "I was born this way. I'm
a defective parrot."
"Holy crap," the guy replies. "You actually
understood and answered me!"
"I got every word," says the parrot. "I happen to
be a highly intelligent thoroughly educated bird."
"Oh yeah?" the guy asks, "Then answer this -- how
do you hang onto your perch without any feet?"
"Well," the parrot says, "this is very embarrassing
but since you asked, I wrap my weenie around this
wooden bar like a little hook. You can't see it
because of my feathers."
"Wow," says the guy. "You really can understand
and speak English can't you?"
"Actually, I speak both Spanish and English, and
I can converse with reasonable competence on
almost any topic: politics, religion, sports, physics,
philosophy. I'm especially good at ornithology.
You really ought to buy me. I'd be a great
companion."
The guy looks at the $20000 price tag.
"Sorry, but I just can't afford that."
"Pssssssst," says the parrot, "I'm defective, so the truth
is, nobody wants me cause I don't have any feet. You
can probably get me for $20; just make the guy an offer!"
The guy offers $20 and walks out with the parrot.
Weeks go by. The parrot is sensational. He has a great
sense of humor, he's interesting, he's a great pal, he
understands everything, he sympathizes, and he's
insightful. The guy is delighted.
One day the guy comes home from work and the
parrot goes, "Psssssssssssst," and motions him over
with one wing. "I don't know if I should tell you
this or not, but it's about your wife and the postman."
"What are you talking about?" asks the guy.
"When the postman delivered the mail today, your
wife greeted him at the door in a sheer black nightie."
"WHAT???" the guy asks incredulously.
"THEN what happened?"
"Well, then the postman came into the house and
lifted up her nightie and began petting her all over,
" reported the parrot.
"NO!" he exclaims. "And she let him?"
"Yes. Then he continued taking off the nightie! , got
down on his knees and began to kiss her all over...."
Then the frantic guy demands, "THEN WHAT HAPPENED?"
"Damned if I know. I got a hard-on and fell off my perch!"
If this doesn't make you laugh, you're having a really bad day..
