01.
The later you are, the more excited they are to see you.
02. Dogs will
forgive you for playing with other dogs.
03. If a dog is gorgeous, other
dogs don't hate it.
04. Dogs don't notice if you call them by another
dog's name.
05. A dog's disposition stays the same all month
long.
06. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the
floor.
07. A dog's parents never visit.
08. Dogs do not hate their
bodies.
09. Dogs agree you have to raise your voice to get your
point
across.
10. Dogs do their snooping outside rather than in your
wallet or
desk.
11. Dogs seldom outlive you.
12. Dogs can't
talk.
13. Dogs enjoy petting in public.
14. You never have to wait
for a dog; they're ready to go
24-hours a day
15. Dogs find you
amusing when you're drunk.
16. Dogs like to go hunting.
17.
Another man will seldom steal your dog.
18. If you bring another dog
home, your dog will happily play
with both of you.
19. A dog will not
wake you up at night to ask, "If I died would
you get another
dog?"
20. If you pretend to be blind, your dog can stay in your
hotel
room for free.
21. If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the
paper and give
them away.
22. A dog will let you put a studded collar
on it without calling
you a pervert..
23. A dog won't hold out on you
to get a new car.
24. If a dog smells another dog on you, they don't get
mad, they
just think it's interesting.
25. On a car trip, your dog
never insists on running the heater.
26. Dogs don't let magazine articles
guide their lives.
27. When your dog gets old, you can have it put to
sleep.
28. Dogs like to ride in the back of a pickup truck.
29.
Dogs are not allowed in Bloomingdales or Neiman-Marcus.
30. If a dog
leaves, it won't take half your stuff.
Later,
SD (-REDACTED-) "
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