NICKNAMES:
If Laura, Suzanne, Debra and
Rose go out for lunch, they will
call each
other Laura, Suzanne, Debra
and Rose.
If Mike, Charlie, Bob and John go out, they will
affectionately
refer to
each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and
Scrappy.
EATING OUT:
When the bill arrives, Mike, Charlie, Bob and
John will each
throw in
$20, although it is only for $32.50. None of them
will have
anything
smaller, and none will actually admit they want change
back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket
calculators.
MONEY:
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A
woman will pay $1
for a $2
item that she does not
want.
BATHROOMS:
A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush,
shaving
cream,
razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Holiday
Inn.
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom
is 337.
A
man would not be able to identify most of these
items.
ARGUMENTS:
A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything
a man
says after
that is the beginning of a new
argument.
CATS:
Women love cats.
Men say they love cats, but when
women are not looking, men
kick cats.
FUTURE:
A woman worries
about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the
future until he gets a wife.
SUCCESS:
A successful man is one who
makes more money than his wife
can spend.
A successful woman is one who
can find such a man.
MARRIAGE:
A woman marries a man expecting he will
change, but he does
not.
A man marries a woman expecting that she will
not change and
she does.
DRESSING UP:
A woman will dress up to go
shopping, water the plants, empty
the
garbage, answer the phone, read a
book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and
funerals.
NATURAL:
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to
bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING:
Ah,
children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows
about
dentist
appointments and romances, best friends, favorite
foods, secret
fears and
hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the
house.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY:
Any married man should forget his
mistakes. There is no use
in two
people remembering the same
thing.
Later,
