CABL Forum - More Blonde jokes

How do you drive a blonde crazy?
Hide her hairbrush.
Why do you take a blonde shopping with you?
So you can park in the handicapped spaces.
Why does a blonde wear panties?
To keep her ankles warm.
How does a blonde turn on the lights after having sex?
Opens the car door.
What do you call a brunette between two blondes?
An interpreter.
What do you call a blonde who dyes her hair?
Artificial intelligence.
What is the difference between a blonde and a 747?
Not everyone has been in a 747.
Why did the blonde have a bruised belly-button?
Her boyfrind was blonde too.
How do you give a blonde more headroom?
Adjust the steering wheel.
How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree?
Wave.
How did the blonde get hurt raking leaves?
She fell out of the tree
How do you make a blonde's eyes sparkle?
Shine a flashlight in her ear.
What did the blonde say after her boyfriend blew in her ear?
"Thanks for the refill."
What do you call 10 blondes standing side by side?
A wind tunnel.
What do you call a circle of blondes?
A dope ring.
How do you drown a blond?
Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool.
Put a mirror on the bottom of the pool.
What do blondes put behind their ears to attract men?
Their ankles.
What goes VROOM! SCREECH! VROOM! SCREECH! VROOM!
A blonde at a flashing red light.
What is the difference between a pregnant blonde and a lightbulb?
You can unscrew a lightbulb.
What does a blonde say when she finds out she's pregnant?
"Gee, I hope it's mine."
What is the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball?
You can only get three fingers in a bowling ball.
You can't get a blonde in a bowling ball.
What did the blonde say when she opened the box of Cheerios?
"Look at all the doughnut seeds!"
Where does a blonde wash her hair?
In the sink ... where else do you wash your vegetables?
How do you make a blonde laugh on Monday?
Tell her a joke on Friday.
What do you do if a blonde throws a hand grenade at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back.
Why did the blonde have a hard time making Kool-Aid?
She couldn't get all the water in the little packet.
Why couldn't the blonde make ice-cubes?
She didn't have the recipe.
What is a blonde's mating call?
"I'm soooo drunk!"
What is the brunette's mating call?
"Have the blondes left yet?"
Why don't blondes like to wear hoop earrings?
Their high heels keep getting caught in them.
What do you have when there are three blondes in a corner?
An air pocket.
How do you know when a blonde has been using your computer?
There's white-out all over the screen.
What do you call a virgin blonde?
A newborn.
What do blondes and beer bottles have in common?
They're both empty from the neck up.
Why don't they give blondes coffee breaks?
It's such a pain to retrain them afterward.
If a blonde and a brunette fell from a building at the same time, who would hit the ground first?
The brunette, because the blonde would have to stop and ask for directions.
How do a blonde's brain cells die?
Alone.
Why did the blonde climb the glass wall?
To see what was on the other side.
What do blondes and cow pies have in common?
The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.
What do blondes and turtles have in common?
Once they're on their backs they're screwed.
What's the other difference between a blonde and a 747?
A 747 only goes down occasionally.
What do you call a blonde in a leather jacket?
Rebel without a clue.
How do you know when a blonde is having her period?
She can't find her pencil and her tampon is behind her ear.
Why did the blonde have a square chest?
She didn't realize that she was supposed to take the tissue out the box.
Did you hear about the blonde who lost 85% of her brains?
Her husband died.
Why can't blondes fart?
They don't shut up long enough to build up the pressure.
What does a blonde say in the morning?
"Who ARE you guys?"
What did the blonde say after having sex?
"So, are you guys all on the same team?"
What do you call a dozen blondes in the freezer?
Frosted Flakes.
How many blondes does it take to make chocolate chip cookies?
13. One to make the batter, and twelve to peel the M&Ms.
Why do blondes drive BMWs?
Because they can spell it.
What do a group of blondes have in common?
Nothing they can think of.
Why did the blonde get 17 other people together to see a movie?
Because "under 18" was prohibited.
Why do blondes poof their hair so high?
To catch everything that goes over their heads.
Why was the blonde happy when she finished the puzzle in a week?
The box said "3-5 years."
What do blondes and computers have in common?
You don't know what you're missing until they go down.
What is the definition of gross ignorance?
144 blondes.
What do you call a blonde with half a brain?
Gifted.
What is the difference between a smart blonde and a UFO?
People have seen UFOs.
Why did the blonde get fired from her job at the M&M factory?
She kept throwing away all the Ws.
What is the difference between a circus and a group of blondes?
A circus is a cunning array of stunts.
What do you call the skeleton of a blonde found in a closet?
The winner of a hide and seek game.
How do you confuse a blonde?
Tell her to alphabetize M&Ms.
What do a blonde and a bowling ball have in common?
You can throw them in the gutter and they'll come right back to you.

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