The Marine Corps found they had too many Officers and NCO's, so decided to offer an early retirement bonus.
They promised any officer or NCO who volunteered for Retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points in his body. The officer or NCO got to choose what those two points would be.
A first officer who accepted, asked that he be measured from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out with a bonus of $72,000.
A second officer accepted and was a little smarter, asked to be measured
from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked Out with $96,000.
The third one was a non-commissioned officer, a grizzly old Corporal who, when asked where he would like to be measured replied, 'From the tip of my dick to my nuts.'
It was suggested by the pension administrator that he might want to reconsider, explaining about the nice big checks the previous two Officers had collected.
But the old Corporal insisted and they decided to go along with him, provided the measurement was taken by a Medical Officer.
The Medical Officer arrived and instructed the Corporal to 'drop 'em,' which He did.
The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the Corporal's dick and began to work down.
They promised any officer or NCO who volunteered for Retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points in his body. The officer or NCO got to choose what those two points would be.
A first officer who accepted, asked that he be measured from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out with a bonus of $72,000.
A second officer accepted and was a little smarter, asked to be measured
from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked Out with $96,000.
The third one was a non-commissioned officer, a grizzly old Corporal who, when asked where he would like to be measured replied, 'From the tip of my dick to my nuts.'
It was suggested by the pension administrator that he might want to reconsider, explaining about the nice big checks the previous two Officers had collected.
But the old Corporal insisted and they decided to go along with him, provided the measurement was taken by a Medical Officer.
The Medical Officer arrived and instructed the Corporal to 'drop 'em,' which He did.
The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the Corporal's dick and began to work down.
"Dear Lord!', he suddenly exclaimed,
'Where are your testicles?'
'Where are your testicles?'
The old Corporal calmly replied, 'in some jungle, in South Viet Nam'.
