Right On..... as I sit here on my back porch watching the fireworks..... Drinking a brewsky and planning the toatal annilahtion of some stupid form of south american goobermnet..... Some guy just knocked on my door selling raffle tickets for poor black
orphans. I said, "Fuck that - knowing my luck, I'd win one!"
____________________________________________________
Wife says to husband, "If you start riding that new bicycle I bought for
you to work, we can get rid of the second car."
He replies, "If you take it up the butt and let me cum on your face, we
can get rid of the nanny!"
____________________________________________________
What's the difference between an illegal Mexican and ET?
ET looked better, smelled better, learned English, didn't claim
benefits, had his own fucking bike, and wanted to go home!
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A guy gets a call from the police telling him that his house was robbed.
The offenders had also consumed all of his beer and had raped his wife.
A moment of silence passes and the guy says, "I can't believe they
fucked my wife after only five beers!"
____________________________________________________
Got this text from my brother recently.
It read. "Can I stay at your house for a while?
The ol' Lady kicked me out after she caught me measuring my cock.
It just reaches the back of her sister's throat!"
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* Was banging this nice Lady over her kitchen table when we heard the
front door open. She said, "It's my husband! Quick, try the back door!"
Thinking back, I really should have ran - but you don't get offers like
that every day.
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Sorry for not calling you on New Years, I just got out of jail. I got
locked up for punching the fuck out of this idiot at a party. In my
defense...when you hear an Arab counting down from 10, your instincts
kick in.
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My wife just came in and said, "I don't know if I am coming or going.
"I said to her, "Judging by the look on your face, you're going - 'cus
when you're coming, you look like a fucking Down Syndrome kid trying to
whistle!"
____________________________________________________
I saw a fortune teller the other day. She told me I would come into some
money. Last night I fucked a girl called Penny - is that spooky or what?
_____________________________________________________
The missus asked me, "When you're on a boys only trip away, do you think
about me?" Apparently "Only to stop myself from coming too quickly"
wasn't the right answer.
Re: Happy New Year To You All!!!!
Member #: 61573
Registered: 9/2/2008
Posted:
7392
Name:
jerry
Company:
Unemployed
Occupation:
none
Location:
USA
There are 5 replies to this message
