All good WHITFIELD. You remind me of a bad ass buddy I had who ended up pulling the pin on a grenade, rolling it outside his foxhole, sticking his left arm up and filling it with shrapnel just so he could get the fuck outta there. Sorry about how your dad treated you, but maybe that wasn't him. Maybe it's what war made him.
PS. You have another post going called "last day on earth" and from what I've seen in my life, most people (bad ass or not) leave this world just like they came in. Helpless and Crying. You can see it in their eyes.