> Redneck churches
> 1. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if - The finance
> committee refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a chandelier
> because none of the members knows how to play one.
>
> 2. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if - People ask,
> when they learn that Jesus fed the 5000, whether the two fish were bass
> or catfish, and what bait was used to catch 'em.
>
> 3. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if - When the pastor
> says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering" and five
> guys and two women stand up.
>
> 4. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if - Opening day of
> deer season is recognized as an official church holiday.
>
>
> 5. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if - A member of the
> church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because "It ain't
> never been in a hole it couldn't me get out of" (Love it!)
>
> 6. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if - The choir is
> known as the "OK Chorale."
> 7. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if - In a
> congregation of 500 members, there are only seven last names in the
> church directory.
>
> 8. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if - People think
> "rapture" is what you get when you lift something too heavy.
>
> 9. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if - The baptismal
> pool is a #2 galvanized "Wheeling" washtub.
>
>
> 10. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if - The choir robes
> were donated by (and embroidered with the logo from) Billy Bob's Barbecue.
>
>
> 11. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if - The collection
> plates are really hubcaps from a '56 Chevy.
>
>
> 12. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if - Instead of a
> bell you are called to service by a duck call.
>
>
> 13. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if - The minister
> and his wife drive matching pickup trucks.
>
>
> 14. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if - The communion wine is Boone's
> Farm "Tickled Pink."
>
> 15. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if - "Thou shall
> not covet" applies to huntin' dogs, too.
>
>
> 16. You know You're in a Redneck Church if - The final
> words of the benediction are, "Y'all come back now, Ya hear."
>
> God Bless and don't fergit ta say yer prayers!
Redneck Churches
Member #: 61573
Registered: 9/2/2008
Posted:
7392
Name:
jerry
Company:
Unemployed
Occupation:
none
Location:
USA
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