CABL Forum - Bad day at the office

This is even funnier when you realize it's real! Next time you have a bad day at work - think of this guy.

Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in LA. He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs.
Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station 103.2 FM in Ft. Wayne, IN who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest.
Needless to say, she won. So here it is . . .

Hi Sue, Just a note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a bad day at the office and I know you've been feeling down at work lately, so I thought I would share my bad day experience with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all.
Before I can tell you what happened to me, I must give you a few technicalities on my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a wetsuit to the office and this time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks up sea water and heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps the warmed sea water down to the diver through a garden hose which is taped to the air hose. This is a good set-up and we've used it several times with no complaints. Now, what I do when I get to the bottom and start working is -take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wet suit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a jacuzzi. Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony, I realized what has happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit-! Luckily, I don't have any hair on my back so the jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate. When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my butt.
I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all having a meltdown of hysterical laughter. Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my dry chamber decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my butt was swollen shut! ...So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt. Now repeat to yourself, 'I love my job, I love my job, I love my job.' ...And whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, - is this a jellyfish bad day?

May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad day!!!

Love from
your -aaahooouch! - bottom - dwelling brother

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Bad day at the office