CABL Forum - Re: President Barack Obama Back to School Event

Hello everyone – how’s everybody doing today?

I'm running up your debt (and your parents)

I’m here with students at Wakefield High School in Arlington, Virginia

I'd never send my kids to a public school, or support a voucher system to help low income children benefit from the education my children are receiveing. In fact, I cancelled a charter program in one of the most impoverished neighborhoods in my hood, DC, despite its success.

And we’ve got students tuning in from all across America, kindergarten through twelfth grade. I’m glad you all could join us today.

Thanks to the Internet, created by Al Gore

I know that for many of you, today is the first day of school. And for those of you in kindergarten, or starting middle or high school, it’s your first day in a new school, so it’s understandable if you’re a little nervous.

Don't worry, the "School Resource Officer" is really an armed guard to protect you from the hooligans "No Child Left Behind" prevents your administrators from expelling.

I imagine there are some seniors out there who are feeling pretty good right now, with just one more year to go. And no matter what grade you’re in, some of you are probably wishing it were still summer, and you could’ve stayed in bed just a little longer this morning.

So does my teleprompter

I know that feeling. When I was young, my family lived in Indonesia for a few years, and my mother didn’t have the money to send me where all the American kids went to school. So she decided to teach me extra lessons herself, Monday through Friday – at 4:30 in the morning. Now I wasn’t too happy about getting up that early. A lot of times, I’d fall asleep right there at the kitchen table. But whenever I’d complain, my mother would just give me one of those looks and say, "This is no picnic for me either, buster."
So I know some of you are still adjusting to being back at school. But I’m here today because I have something important to discuss with you. I’m here because I want to talk with you about your education and what’s expected of all of you in this new school year.

Blindly accept, hook, line and sinker everything I say.

Now I’ve given a lot of speeches about education.

But I won't release my transcripts

And I’ve talked a lot about responsibility.

But I've never really had any responsibilities

I’ve talked about your teachers’ responsibility for inspiring you, and pushing you to learn.

And I've whored my presidency to their unions

I’ve talked about your parents’ responsibility for making sure you stay on track, and get your homework done, and don’t spend every waking hour in front of the TV or with that Xbox.
I’ve talked a lot about your government’s responsibility for setting high standards,

and deficits

supporting teachers and principals, and turning around schools that aren’t working where students aren’t getting the opportunities they deserve.

and supporting unions who refuse to fire failing teachers and administrators But at the end of the day, we can have the most dedicated teachers, the most supportive parents, and the best schools in the world – and none of it will matter unless all of you fulfill your responsibilities. Unless you show up to those schools; pay attention to those teachers; listen to your parents, grandparents and other adults; and put in the hard work it takes to succeed. And that’s what I want to focus on today: the responsibility each of you has for your education. I want to start with the responsibility you have to yourself.
Every single one of you has something you’re good at.

I'm good at selling Snake Oil

Every single one of you has something to offer.

I offer empty promises and half truths to sheeple who lap it up.

And you have a responsibility to yourself to discover what that is. That’s the opportunity an education can provide.
Maybe you could be a good writer – maybe even good enough to write a book or articles in a newspaper – but you might not know it until you write a paper for your English class.

Or Spanish

Maybe you could be an innovator or an inventor – maybe even good enough to come up with the next iPhone or a new medicine or vaccine – but you might not know it until you do a project for your science class.

Like inventing an "Do it Yourself" abortion machine, because I think that when a life begins is "above my paygrade".

Maybe you could be a mayor or a Senator or a Supreme Court Justice, but you might not know that until you join student government or the debate team.

And do what I did, when I didn't do anything in either senate chamber I was elected to (except vote 'Present)

And no matter what you want to do with your life – I guarantee that you’ll need an education to do it. You want to be a doctor, or a teacher, or a police officer? You want to be a nurse or an architect, a lawyer or a member of our military?

Which my party takes joy in while they bash the very people who protect us....Remember Dick Durban and John "If you don't go to college, you go to Irak" Kerry?

You’re going to need a good education for every single one of those careers. You can’t drop out of school and just drop into a good job. You’ve got to work for it and train for it and learn for it.

Trust me, I learned from Chicago Politics that every vote needs to be counted once, but every voter can vote more than once. Hell, even dead people can vote thanks to ACORN.
And this isn’t just important for your own life and your own future.

Cuz I need every one of you to earn money, so I can tax it.

What you make of your education will decide nothing less than the future of this country. What you’re learning in school today will determine whether we as a nation can meet our greatest challenges in the future.

Like paying off my massive deficit

You’ll need the knowledge and problem-solving skills you learn in science and math to cure diseases like cancer and AIDS, and to develop new energy technologies and protect our environment.

Because my policies sure as hell won't let us do anything until I repay my political favors.

You’ll need the insights and critical thinking skills you gain in history and social studies to fight poverty and homelessness, crime and discrimination, and make our nation more fair and more free.

Because it is obvious that this country will never elect a black man or a woman to any federal level political office. Hell, the Klan kept me from going to work yesterday.

You’ll need the creativity and ingenuity you develop in all your classes to build new companies that will create new jobs and boost our economy.

So I can tax the life out of anything that generates revenue.

We need every single one of you to develop your talents, skills and intellect so you can help solve our most difficult problems. If you don’t do that – if you quit on school – you’re not just quitting on yourself, you’re quitting on your country.

The country I claim to be a legal resident of, not the sub-saharan nation I hail from.

Now I know it’s not always easy to do well in school. I know a lot of you have challenges in your lives right now that can make it hard to focus on your schoolwork.
I get it. I know what that’s like. My father left my family when I was two years old, and I was raised by a single mother who struggled at times to pay the bills and wasn’t always able to give us things the other kids had. There were times when I missed having a father in my life.

So I filled his shoes by smoking dope and snorting coke.

There were times when I was lonely and felt like I didn’t fit in.

Like when I hung out with known terrorists, yet I hadn't bombed one single police station.

So I wasn’t always as focused as I should have been. I did some things I’m not proud of, and got in more trouble than I should have. And my life could have easily taken a turn for the worse.

I could have chosen Hillary Clinton as my Vice President

But I was fortunate. I got a lot of second chances and had the opportunity to go to college, and law school, and follow my dreams.

Through reverse discrimination known as "Affirmative Action".

My wife, our First Lady Michelle Obama, and on and on and on and on and on and blah blah blah........

*I was going to finish my critique of The One's edict to our youth, but I threw up in my mouth twice and don't think I can stomach anymore of his crap.

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Re: President Barack Obama Back to School Event