1. If you are over forty and you have a washboard stomach, you are a queer.
It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and have spent the rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics and doing the Opra diet...Faggot.
2. If you have a cat you are a homo. A cat is like a dog but queer---it grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a delicate touch except when it uses its claws and whines to be fed. And just think about how you call your dog.."Killer,come here! I said get your ass over here Killer!. Now think about how you call a cat..'Bun-bun, come to daddy, snookums!. Jeeez you're a queer.
3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, baby pacifiers, or any such nonsense, rest assured, you are a Gaylord. A straight man only sucks on BBQ ribs, crab claws, raw oysters, lobster backs, pickled pigs feet or tits. Anything else and you are a Homo in training and undeniably a fag.
4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or piss in a parking lot, you crave a deep homosexual relationship. A man's world is his toilet; he defecates and urinates where he pleases.
5. If you drink anything rather than regular coffee, you're as fairy as tinkerbell!!. A straight man will never be heard ordering a 'Decaf Soy Latte'. If you've put a Decaf Soy Latte to your lips, you've had a man there too.
6. If you know more than six names of non-standard colors or four different types of dessert other than ice cream and custard, you might as well be handing out free ass passes. A real man doesn't have memory space in his brain to remember all of that crap. If you can pick out chartreuse you're gay. And if you can name ANY type of textile other than cotton or denim, you are a peter puffer.
7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it, you're dying to tune a meat whistle. A man only puts both hands on the wheel to honk at a slow-assed driver or to cut the prick off. The rest of the time he needs that hand to change the radio station, eat a hamburger, or hold his beer.
Man Test
Member #: 63152
Registered: 11/5/2008
Posted:
1940
Name:
Bob
Company:
None
Occupation:
Considering one
Location:
Rapid City SD
Personal:
early 20s
Experience:
~54 years
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