Recently I got into some legal problems and ended up in a courtroom trying to prove my innocent. The judge read my charges and ask me, "How do you plea?". Of course I said "Not guilty your honor". Then the judge asked me if I had any supporting witnesses. I said " Yes sir, only one, my father". He said ok and the baliff proceeded to swear my dad in with all that " Do swear to tell the truth, Only the truth, blah, blah, blah, bullshit?" So I had my father up on the stand and asked him, "How long have you known me sir?". He stated "I have known you for 46 years". I then stated, "Sir, you have been considered to have a disease called Dimensia, So I ask you again , Are you sure that you have known me for 46 years?" My father stated, "How the hell can I forget, I spent 90 days in the county for slapping the shit out of your mother, you sorry son of a bitch//" At that point I figured I was done, Everything suddenly went south on my ass, the judge was giving me the evil eye, and the prosecuter was nearly falling out his chair in laughter. At this point the judge requested the prosecuter to cross-exam my dad. The prosecuter{in his cheap Mens Warehouse suit and this stupid fucking candy apple looking tie} stated to my dad, " Sir, I apoligize on the behalf of the court for you being dragged down here to testify, I believe your son is guilty of all charges. All you have to do is agree and we can finalize these proceedings". My father jumped up out of that chair and shouted, "HE DIDNT DID IT'. At this point the proscuter stated to my dad, " Sir, By your sons testemony, he stated you have dimensia, so how can you be sure that your last statement can be creditable?" My dad stated " Look I forgot a lot of things in my life, But there are three things that I can never forget, first is spending 90 days in jail, second is that ugly fucking face poking out his mamas vagina, and third is the fact that in the last 46 years that lazy, no good, sorry son of a bitch has never done anything in his life. So he couldnt of did it.
About that time the judge slammed the gavel and hollored, "CASE DISMISSED'
I Didnt Did It//////
Member #: 5738
Registered: 1996-2001
Posted:
331
Name:
Sam Petree
Name:
Sam Petree
Company:
temp retired
Occupation:
Foreman/ Lineman
Location:
mid-south central USA
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