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Men Unite !!!!


This one is for all of those women who dont get it.

LISTEN UP LADIES (and some of you questionable men)!!!!!

These are our rules!

1.  Men are NOT mind readers .

2 . Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

3 . Sunday sports, It's like the full moon or  the changing of the
tides.
Let it be.

4 . Crying is blackmail.

5 . Ask for what you want.

Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

6 .. Yes or No are perfectly acceptable  answers to almost every
question.

7 . Come to us with a problem  only  if you want help solving it.
That's what we  do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

8 . Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible  in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

9 . If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

10 . If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one  of the
ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the  other way

11 . You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
And if you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

12 . Whenever possible, Please say whatever you  have to say during
commercials ..

13 .  Christopher  Columbus  did  NOT  need directions and neither
do we.

14 . ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows  default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A  color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
We have  no idea  what mauve is.

15 . If it itches,  it  will  be scratched.
We do that.

16 . If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing,"  We will act like
nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

17 . If you ask a question that you don't want an  answer to, Expect
an answer that you don't want to hear.

18 . When we have to go somewhere, absolutely  anything you wear is
fine...  Really .

19 . Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless  you are prepared
to discuss such topics as baseball, hockey
or  golf.

20 . You have enough clothes...

21. You have too many shoes.

22 . I am in shape. Round  IS a shape!

23 . Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;

But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

 

This is CABL.com posting #252228. Tiny Link: cabl.co/mbdMm
There are 5 replies to this message
Re: Men Unite !!!! Wolf1 5/3/2009 3:06:03 PM
Re: Men Unite !!!! rc_satellite 5/3/2009 10:54:17 AM
Re: Men Unite !!!! oldlinedawg 4/28/2009 9:43:02 PM
Re: Men Unite !!!! superlinedog 4/28/2009 7:53:57 PM
Re: Men Unite !!!! WildBill63 4/28/2009 7:41:52 PM