Open Letter to the CEO’s of BMW, Mercedes Benz, and Lexes automobiles:
Dear Sirs:
I would like to discuss the option packages and or standard equipment of your automobiles. I have been wondering about an option that you companies seem to have turned into standard equipment. The equipment I am speaking of is: The Asshole behind the wheel. It seems that what was once an Option has become Standard. I am sure all of you make a fine product, but I will probably never know because I believe that my car payment and house payment should not be equal amounts.
I would like to point out that your Asshole option/standard equipment works wonderfully. I often see one of your auto’s Asshole behind the wheel kick in as I am driving during any given day. The expertise they demonstrate as they tailgate, merge without the use of a turn indicator, cut drivers off, pay no attention to road signs or flagmen is astounding. The way they act as if theirs is the only vehicle on the road that matters is simply amazing. I especially love the take up two parking spaces fetcher that the Asshole has, it works as well as the 75MPH in a 35MPH zone does.
Well kind sirs I could go on all day about your cars but alas I must end this short note because the wrecker has arrived to tow my truck to the garage…..Yes it was the Asshole behind the wheel turning right from a left-hand lane that caused me to clip the tree.
I and the insurance companies of the country thank you for this wonderful piece of equipment that I see now must come Standard with all your autos.
Sincerely,
John Q Public
69 Pussy Stink Ln
Blue Balls PA 04812
Just something stupid
Member #: 5567
Registered: 1996-2001
Posted:
3797
Name:
John
Company:
County Gov
Occupation:
Fiber Design, Construction, Maintenance
Location:
Washington DC
Personal:
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