The Democraptic National Committee in association with the Socialists
Workers Party and CBS (Communist Broadcasting System) proudly presents the
ONE cable/satellite TV Channel you MUST watch (and we mean that):
OBAMAVISIONTM
Comrades, due to our popular demand, the world now has a 24/7 source for
information about all the wonderful things the Dear Leader and his Party are
doing to improve your miserable lives. And, it's entertaining to
boot! Here's a sample of the wonderful programming you WILL be watching
(and we mean that) on OBAMAVISIONTM:
The Trillion Dollar Pyramid (Game Show)
Each week, big-city mayors, connected pols and contractors, community
organizers, union leaders and ACORN members vie for a share of the trillion
dollar stimulus bounty recently provided by our glorious leaders in
Congress. Host: Paul Begala-Lugosi
Tales of Brave Obama (Cartoon)
The kidniks will cheer with progressive delight as the brave knight Sir
Obama and his sidekick Axelrod fight for social justice and do battle
against the evil Rethuglicans and their leader, the grotesque monster
Limbaw.
Oprah! (Reality)
Proud Obama supporter Oprah brings a brand new popular talk show to
OBAMAVISIONTM! Prepare to be inspired and uplifted as you listen to the
tales of doubters, heretics, lost souls and thought-criminals as they
explain how they cast aside their cynicism and regained their faith in big
government after coming to know Obama. You'll see recovering Republicans,
bitter clingers and agnostic independents share their stories of hope and
change. Guaranteed to lighten your wallet burdens!
Great Trips on AMTRAK (Travel)
Happy travellers are flocking to congressionally-mandated
federally-subsidized AMTRAK! Find out why it takes at least 18.75 hrs to go
from New York City to Chicago and why making the trip via Albany and Buffalo
is a great idea! Host: Alec Baldy.
The Day in Business (Comedy)
Join John Steward, James Carvelle and other party apparatchiks as they crack
wise about the day's stock price decline and the latest torrent of
capitalists going broke or being arrested. Frank Notso-Rich of the New York
Times says "It's a load of laughs!"
Your Next Car (Shopping)
Great deals on GM and Chrysler cars. These two great American companies
going to stay in business no matter what, so why not "Buy American"? (You
might as well, because like the public school system, you're going to pay
for them whether you use them or not!) Hosted by Ron Givedafindger.
The Gibbs Report (News)
Presidential Press Secretary Robert Gibbs speaks directly to YOU, the loyal
OBAMAVISIONTM viewer, without the cacophonous disruptions of pesky
reporters, some of which occasionaly ask him irrelevant inane questions that
he can't answer. This is the best way to get the news vital to your welfare
direct from your beneficent leader. No need for a Fairness Doctrine when
Gibbs is on the job!
The Audacity of Hope (drama, mini-series)
The second best book ever written (after "Dreams of My Father") has become
the best 478-part mini-series ever presented on television. We are sure you
WILL enjoy watching every last minute of it (and we mean that.) Mandantory
quiz will follow each episode.
Earth in the Balance (weather)
Weather and climate expert Al Gore reports on the day's climate
deterioration and which parts of the sky are falling where. Forecasts where
death and destruction will strike tomorrow because you didn't listen to
him. Brought to you by the Reid-Pelosi Cap and Trade Exchange, America's
Number One carbon credit trading system! (No relation to Harry Reid and
Nancy Pelosi. No, really!)
Card Check (Game Show)
Watch as employees of non-union businesses try to win prizes (and avoid
beatings) by answering questions regarding whether or not they want their
jobs unionized. Host: Jimmy The Offa-you-can't-refuse
Hate Night with David Ledderman (talk)
Laugh along with the elite as Dave tells jokes about idiot conservatives and
the evil Bushitler whose stupidity is responsible for all your
problems. Watch as the audience doubles-up in laughter at "Stupid
Republican Tricks". Then, it's time to listen to the endless parade of
socially-responsible celebrities waxing eloquent on their glorious
humanity-serving causes. A great way to cap off your day and put you to
sleep.
This is just a small sample of the wondrous programming we have planned for
YOU on OBAMAVISIONTM! There's something for everyone on OBAMAVISIONTM. There
are no subliminal messages broadcast OBAMAVISIONTM (no, really!) Do not
fight OBAMAVISIONTM. OBAMAVISIONTM is bigger than all of us. Why not just
surrender to OBAMAVISIONTM? OBAMAVISIONTM is not a form of mind
control. It would be better for you if you just did what OBAMAVISION tells you to do. Join us.
This may be your last chance.
