> The IRS decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to the
> IRS office.
>
> The IRS auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up
> with his attorney.
>
> The auditor said, 'Well, sir, you have an
extravagant
> lifestyle and no full-time employment, Which you explain by
> saying that you win money gambling.
>
> I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable.'
>
> I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it,' says
> Grandpa. 'How about a demonstration?'
>
> The auditor thinks for a moment and said, 'Okay. Go
> ahead.'
>
> Grandpa says, 'I'll bet you a thousand dollars that
> I can bite my own eye.'
>
> The auditor thinks a moment and says, 'It's a
> bet.'
>
> Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it. The
> auditor's jaw drops.
>
> Grandpa says, 'Now, I'll bet you two thousand
> dollars that I can bite my other eye..'
>
> Now the auditor can tell
Grandpa isn't blind, so he
> takes the bet.
>
> Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye. The
> stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three
> grand , with Grandpa's attorney as a witness. He starts
> to get nervous.
>
> 'Want
to go double or nothing?' Grandpa asks
> 'I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand
> on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on
> the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in
> between.'
>
> The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks
> carefully and decides there's no way this old guy
could
> possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again.
>
> Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but
> although he strains mightily, he can't make the stream
> reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he pretty much
> urinates all over the auditor's desk.
>
> The auditor leaps with joy, realizi ng that he has just
> turned a major loss into a huge win.
>
> But Grandpa's own attorney moans and puts his head in
> his hands.
>
> 'Are you okay?' the auditor asks.
>
> 'Not
really,' says the attorney. 'This morning,
> when Grandpa told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he
> bet me twenty-five thousand dollars that he could come in
> here and piss all over your desk and that you'd be happy
> about it!'
>
Grandpa and the IRS
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