RED SKELTON'S RECIPE FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE
1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship.. She goes on Tuesdays; I go on Fridays. 2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California , and mine is in Texas . 3. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. 'Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!' she said. So I suggested the kitchen. 5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
6.. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker. She said 'There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!' So I bought her an electric chair. 7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was.. She told me, 'In the lake.'
8. She got a mud pack, and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off. 9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, 'Am I too late for the garbage?' The driver said, 'No, jump in!'
10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce. 11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always. 12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her. 13. The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, 'What's on the TV?'I said, 'Dust!'
Can't you just hear him say all of these? I love it. These were the good old dayswhen humor didn't have to start with a four letter word. It was just clean and simple fun.
And he always ended his programs with the words, 'God Bless.'
Red Skelton
Member #: 61573
Registered: 9/2/2008
Posted:
7392
Name:
jerry
Company:
Unemployed
Occupation:
none
Location:
USA
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