I've been to Thule. Ain't much there but coldness.
US Air Force C-130
Even if you weren't in the service you can understand this one. A US Air
Force C-130 was scheduled to leave Thule Air Base, Greenland, at midnight.
During the pilot's preflight check, he discovers that the latrine holding
tank is still full from the last flight. So a message is sent to the base
and an airman who was off duty is called out to take care of it.
The young man finally gets to the air base and makes his way to the aircraft
only to find that the latrine pump truck has been left outdoors and is
frozen solid, so he must find another one in the hangar, which takes even
more time. He returns to the aircraft and is less than enthusiastic about
what he has to do. Nevertheless, he goes about the pumping job deliberately
and carefully (and slowly) so as not to risk criticism later.
As he's leaving the plane, the pilot stops him and says, 'Son, your attitude
and performance has caused this flight to be late and I'm going to
personally see to it that you are not just reprimanded but punished.'
Shivering in the cold, his task finished, he takes a deep breath, stands up
tall and says, 'Sir, with all due respect, I'm not your son; I'm an Airman
in the United States Air Force. I've been in Thule, Greenland, for 11 months
without any leave, and reindeers' asses are beginning to look pretty good to
me. I have one stripe; it's 2:30 in the morning, the temperature is 40
degrees below zero, and my job here is to pump shit out of an aircraft. Now,
just exactly what form of punishment did you have in mind?'
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