I will probably regret divulging personal information about myself, but I was a 19 year old daughter who was stuck with a loser and had to go home to my parents. I am not proud of it, but it is true.
Don't think for one moment that your daughter is not suffering her own private hell and looking for advise that she thinks will make things better. She does not knew enough about what it takes to care for a child to take anyone's advise seriously. Kids think they know everything and that things are going to go exactly as they think they should as soon as she gets him to change into the prince charming she sees underneath all of the exterior rough edges we all see.
The truth, as we all know, is that we can not change other people, they have to want to make the changes themselves. I would be willing to wager that they wont make it to the babies first birthday the way things are now.
A couple of people advised you to HELP and Encourage them.......good advise if they appreciate and want to do better. If they feel that you and your wife don't like him and if you make him feel unwelcome, you will run them off and cause additional problems between them which will lead to your grandchild being deprived a loving mother and father who alone or apart can communicate openly to benefit the grandchild as he or she grows.
Try to encourage education first! Because they are young parents, they will have access to many programs that will help them graduate High School and attend college. They do not have to be on welfare to gain access to low or no cost educational programs.
Tell your daughter you love her unconditionally. Do not throw this in her face out of anger. Do not take your worry and stress over this out by blaming and berating the choices they have made.
Encourage them to do the right thing instead of forcing it down their throats. They know they are going to have to make a lot of changes, they just don't understand the magnitude of the situation with the baby still unborn. They wont really understand until they have a little person depending on them for everything.
Make them responsible for providing the basic needs of the baby and if you choose to do extra, that is what grandparents are for. They boy may never do right, mine did not. My daughter turns 17 tomorrow and her dad has not given one red cent towards her upbringing while I got my degree, worked two jobs, and bore the burden alone.
Your daughter will do alright as long as she has loving parents for support....I hope the same for the daddy. You will know what to do as time goes by. Good Luck.....PM me if you need to talk.
Re: need some help
Member #: 28412
Registered: 1/28/2004
Posted:
869
Name:
Kim Dehne
Name:
Kim Dehne
Location:
California
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