Obituary of the late Mr. Common Sense
'Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has
been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his
birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be
remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to
come in out of the rain: why the early bird gets the worm: Life isn't always
fair: and maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more
than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in
charge).
His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but
overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy
charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate: teens suspended from
school for using mouthwash after lunch: and a teacher fired for reprimanding
an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job
that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.
It declined even further when schools were required to get parental
consent to administer sun lotion or an Elastoplast to a student: but could
not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an
abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became
contraband: churches became businesses: and criminals received better
treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't
defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue
you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to
realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her
lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust: his
wife, Discretion: his daughter, Responsibility: and his son, Reason. He is
survived by his 4 stepbrothers: I Know My Rights, I Want It Now, Someone
Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim.
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you
still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.'
Common Sense
Member #: 29165
Registered: 2/28/2004
Posted:
1521
Occupation:
Jack of all Trades/Master of Most
Location:
Whatever Makes My Day
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