Political Science For Dummies
Member #: 1696
Registered: 1996-2001
Name:
Mike Edwards
Name:
Mike Edwards
Company:
incognito
Occupation:
Communications Const
Location:
AK
Personal:
Experience:
~51 years
> Political Science for Dummies
>>
>> DEMOCRAT
>>
>> You have two cows.
>> Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful.
>>
>> REPUBLICAN
>>
>> You have two cows. Your neighbor has none.
>> So?
>>
>> SOCIALIST
>>
>> You have two cows.
>> The government takes one and gives it to your
>> neighbor. You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his
>> cow.
>>
>> COMMUNIST
>>
>> You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with
milk.
>>
>> You wait in line for hours to get it.
>> It is expensive and sour.
>>
>> CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE
>>
>> You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of
cows.
>>
>> BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE
>>
>> You have two cows. Under the new farm program the government pays
you to
>> shoot one, milk the other, and then pours the milk
>> down the drain.
>>
>> AMERICAN CORPORATION
>>
>> You have two cows.
>> You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO
>> on the 2nd one. You force the two cows to produce the milk of four
>> cows. You are surprised when one cow drops dead. You
>> spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have
>> downsized and are reducing expenses.
>> Your stock goes up.
>>
>> FRENCH CORPORATION
>>
>> You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows. You
go
>> to lunch and drink wine.
>> Life is good.
>>
>> JAPANESE CORPORATION
>>
>> You have two cows.
>> You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an
>> ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. They learn to
travel on
>> unbelievably crowded trains.
>> Most are at the top of their class at cow school.
>>
>> GERMAN CORPORATION
>>
>> You have two cows. You engineer them so they are all blond, drink
lots of
>> beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred
>> miles an hour. Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation
>> per year.
>>
>> ITALIAN CORPORATION
>>
>> You have two cows but you don't know where they are. You break for
lunch.
>> Life is good.
>>
>> RUSSIAN CORPORATION
>>
>> You have two cows. You have some vodka.
>> You count them and learn you have five cows. You have some more
vodka.
>> You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. The Mafia shows up
and
>> takes over however many cows
>> you really have.
>>
>> TALIBAN CORPORATION
>>
>> You have all the cows in Afghanistan , which are
>> two. You don't milk them because you cannot touch any
>> creature' s private parts.
>> You get a $40 million grant from the US government
>> to find alternatives to milk production but u se the
>> money to buy weapons.
>>
>> IRAQI CORPORATION
>>
>> You have two cows.
>> They go into hiding. They send radio tapes of their mooing.
>>
>> POLISH CORPORATION
>>
>> You have two bulls. Employees are regularly maimed and killed
attempting
>> to milk them.
>>
>> BELGIAN CORPORATION
>>
>> You have one cow.
>> The cow is schizophrenic.
>> Sometimes the cow thinks he's French, other times he's
>> Flemish. The Flemish cow won't share with the French cow.
>> The French cow wants control of the Flemish cow's
>> milk. The cow asks permission to be cut in half.
>> The cow dies happy.
>>
>> FLORIDA CORPORATION
>>
>> You have a black cow and a brown cow. Everyone votes for the best
looking
>> one. Some of the people who actually like the brown one
>> best accidentally vote for the black one.
>> Some people vote for both.
>> Some people vote for neither.
>> Some people can't figure out how to vote at all.
>> Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you
>> which one you think is the best-looking cow.
>>
>> CALIFORNIA CORPORATION
>>
>> You have millions of cows. They make real California cheese. Only
five
>> speak English.
>> Most are illegal.
>> Arnold likes the ones with the big udders
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