How to prevent boredom when your wife makes you go to Wal-Mart
1. Take 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's
carts when they weren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-
minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the
restrooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell her in an official
tone, 'Code 3' in housewares.. and watch what happens.
5. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on
layaway.
6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other
shoppers you will invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry
and ask, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, and
pick your nose.
10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the
clerk if he knows where to find the antidepressants.
11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the
"Mission Impossible" theme .
12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using
different size funnels.
13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
yell "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"
And last, but not least ...
15. Go into a fitting room, shut the door, wait awhile, then
yell very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"
Bored in Wal-Mart
Member #: 1018
Registered: 1996-2001
Posted:
142
Name:
Brent
Occupation:
Permits and Engineering
Location:
Arkansas
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