Two cops pull into a parking lot across form a local bar at 1:45AM and proceed to wait for a drunk to attempt to drive home. at 5 til 2:00, a little fat man staggers out the door and proceeds to find his car. He digs into his pockets and cant find his keys so he emptys his pockets on the hood of the nearest car. Upon finfing his keys, he attempts to unlock the nearest car. The cops watch him with mirth. After trying to unlock 5 or 6 different cars, he turns around and attempts to walk to the other end of the lot. During this, 2 or 3 patrons gaze at him, get in their cars and leave. He then decides that his car is back at the other end of the lot and turns around twice, staggers sideways and bumps into another leaving patron. He finally finds his car and spends 10 minites trying to get the key in the door while 2 more patrons leave.. The cops now rivet their attention on the drunk, watching him intently.Upon opening the car, he gets in and starts it up. he steps on the brakes several times, turns the lights on and off twice and backs up 5 feet, goes forward 5 feet and honks the horn at 3 more patrons trying to get out of his way. He finally gets the car pointed to the lot exit where he stops, turns the engine off and starts it up again. By this time, the cops are rolling in laughter, knowing they have a good one on the hook.. he backs up again and lets another car exit and proceeds onto the road where he drives at 5 MPH. The cops finally lit him up and got him out of the car and proceeded to give him a field sobriety test which he PASSED. They shook the breather and gave it to him again and again it registered 0. "sir" the cop says. "We are going to have to take u to the station to test you on another machine. This one seems to be defective." "No it isnt, its perfectly fine, I'm not drunk." "You sure are, it took you 20 minuits to get in and start your car." "maybe so, but tonight, I'm the designated decoy."
This is CABL.com posting #174072. Tiny Link: cabl.co/mTrM
