This has got to be one of the funniest things I've
heard of in a Long
time. I think this guy should have been promoted,
not fired. This is a
true phone call from the WordPerfect Help Line
which was transcribed
from
a recording monitoring the Customer Care
Department. Needless to say
the
Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is
currently suing the
WordPerfect organization for "Termination without
Cause." This is
actual
dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support
employee Now, I know
why
they record these conversations!
"Ridge Hall computer assistance; may I help you?"
"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
"What sort of trouble?"
"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden
the words went
away."
"Went away?"
"They disappeared."
"Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
"Nothing."
"Nothing?"
"It's blank, it won't accept anything when I type."
"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"
"How do I tell?"
"Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"
"What's a sea-prompt?"
"Never mind, can you move your cursor around the
screen?"
"There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't
accept anything I type."
"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"
"What's a monitor?"
"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks
like a TV. Does it
have a
little light that tells you when it's on?"
"I don't know."
"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and
find where the power
cord
goes into it. Can you see that?"
"Yes, I think so."
"Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if
it's plugged into
the
wall."
"Yes, it is."
"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice
that there were two
cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"
"No."
"Well, there are. I need you to look back there
again and find the
other
cable."
"Okay, here it is."
"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged
securely into the back
of
your computer"
"I can't reach."
"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"
"No."
"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and
lean way over?"
"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle
-- it's because it's
dark."
"Dark?"
"Yes, the office light is off, and the only light I
have is coming in
from
the window."
"Well, turn on the office light then."
"I can't."
"No? Why not?"
"Because there's a power failure."
"A power... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got
it licked now. Do you
still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff
your computer came
in?"
"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
"Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack
it up just like it
was
when you got it. Then take it back to the store you
bought it from."
"Really? Is it that bad?"
"Yes, I'm afraid it is."
"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell
them?"
"Tell them you're too f%$king stupid to own a
computer."
