CABL Forum - To God From The Dog....

TO: GOD FROM: THE DOG
>
>Dear God:
>Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?
>When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it still the same
>old
>story?
>
>Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the
>colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog? How often
>do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride! Would it be so
>hard to rename the "Chrysler Eagle" the "Chrysler Beagle"?
>
>If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he
>still a bad dog?
>
>We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles,
>horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and
>Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?
>
>More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.
>
>Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?
>
>Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a
>good dog:
>1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it
>up.
>2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like
>the way they smell.
>3. I will not munch on "leftovers" in the kitty litter box, although they
>are tasty.
>4. The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.
>5. The sofa is not a 'face towel.' Neither are Mom and Dad's laps.
>6. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
>7. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
>8. I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's driver's
>license and registration.
>9. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.
>10. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying
>"hello."
>11. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee
>table.
>12. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house --
>not after.
>13. I will not throw up in the car.
>14. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.
>15. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch when
>we have company.
>16. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes
>that
>noise, it's usually not a good thing.
>And, finally, My last 2 questions. . .
>
>Why do humans only have 10 Commandments and dogs have 16? And, when I get
>to Heaven may I have my testicles back?
>

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To God From The Dog....