INT. CREEPY MANSION - DUNGEON - NIGHT
Green Freak and Green Freak's Brother finish dinner.
GREEN FREAK
Hey, you've got a little
something on your cheek.
Green Freak's Brother wipes his face.
GREEN FREAK
No, the other side.
Green Freak's Brother wipes a small webbed foot off his cheek.
GREEN FREAK
There. You got it.
GREEN FREAK'S BROTHER
I'm happy that you finally
got your big break in New Orleans.
Wow! Imagine!
GREEN FREAK
Yeah, I know. But I'm so nervous
about it.
GREEN FREAK'S BROTHER
Yeah, being a doorstop at Bayou Bob's
Petting Zoo and Cypress Knee Museum is
an awesome responsibility.
GREEN FREAK
I know. That's why I'm so nervous.
GREEN FREAK'S BROTHER
Don't worry. I know you're gonna
do fine.
GREEN FREAK
(shedding a crocodile tear)
Thanks, man...uh...I mean half-man.
GREEN FREAK'S BROTHER
I know what you mean.
They hug.
GREEN FREAK'S BROTHER
Hey, let's go out for one last bash
before you leave.
GREEN FREAK
Yeah. That would be awesome,
man...I mean, uh...
INT. A NIGHTCLUB - NIGHT
Green Freak and Green Freak's Brother are drunk.
They stand arm-in-arm, holding a karaoke microphone.
GREEN FREAK
To all the things we've loved before...
GREEN FREAK'S BROTHER
...who've slithered in and out our door.
GREEN FREAK
We're glad they crawled along...
GREEN FREAK'S BROTHER
...we dedicate this song...
IN UNISON
To all the things we've loved before.
The audience is quiet. Hundreds of terrorized faces, jaws agape.
EXT. A BUS STATION - DAY
Green Freak stands at the bus door.
GREEN FREAK’S BROTHER
I’m gonna miss you, man. Oops,
here we go with that again.
GREEN FREAK
Yeah, I’m gonna miss you too.
I’ll never forget all the good
times we’ve had.
GREEN FREAK’S BROTHER
Yeah. Remember the night we ate
Mrs. Krabowski down the street?
GREEN FREAK
Ha, ha, ha! How could I forget!
That’s the time you got the
fingernail caught in your throat
and almost choked to death!
GREEN FREAK’S BROTHER
(laughing)
Yeah, that’s what makes this so
hard. Remembering all the fun times.
GREEN FREAK
So what are you going to do
with the rest of your life?
GREEN FREAK’S BROTHER
I don’t know anymore. I just
feel so bad ever since that time
I failed the physical for the Navy.
I thought sure they would take me.
GREEN FREAK
Hey, I already told you. It was
cold that day. It’s not your fault
your body temperature was only
seventy-eight degrees. Go back
on a warm day!
GREEN FREAK’S BROTHER
Yeah, maybe you’re right. And
I still have that application
pending for the University of
Florida.
GREEN FREAK
Gonna be a Gator, huh? Hell,
you’re half way there!
GREEN FREAK’S BROTHER
Yeah, but I’m not sure they’ll
take me, what with not being able
to read and all. And then there’s
the whole thing with me being a
half-man, half-alligator.
GREEN FREAK
Don’t be so hard on yourself.
Hey, look, I gotta go.
GREEN FREAK’S BROTHER
Yeah. I wouldn’t want you to
be late.
GREEN FREAK
Are you gonna say it?
GREEN FREAK’S BROTHER
No.
They hug. Green Freak walks onto the bus. Passengers scream and jump out the windows.
